When You Lose Someone Dear...

Is it shock? Emptiness? Am I sad? Do I rejoice? Do I mourn? I know this: I feel ____.

Today I got the news that a young friend of mine who had been through cancer four times by age twelve died about 2pm September 28, 2007. He had reached his limit of radiation, the tumor was inoperable and growing, and his body didn't respond to chemotherapy. He reached the end of his short life. God called him home to be withHim and his daddy who preceeded him by two years from the same malignant ailment. Connor was simple, he always new what he wanted. He was a kid, a child that played and had fun. so much suffering he endured, yet so much he missed. He bruoght out the child out in me. I strove to be an example, a role model for him, yet he was just as much one to me as I was to him. A "teacher" taught by his "pupil" as the saying goes.

(Right now my computer is playing "Homesick" by Mercy Me. Very appropriate. If you don't know it, find it on itunes or google it.)

Pain's Prayer...God, I don't know even what to feel, I want to cry, and I do; I want to laugh and I do. "So far away from home...I close my eyes and i see Your face, if home's where my heart is then i'm out of place...In Christ there are no goodbyes, and in Christ there is no end...So I'll hold on to Jesus with all that I have...to see you again...I've never been more homesick than now."